When we trust in God--believe in His plan for us--there is no room for grudges. Because grudges hold us back, smother our joy; distort our relationship with God. Grudges harden our hearts; they slowly chip away at the softeness that allows us to care, love, give, feel.

And I say this, not from judgement, but experience. Because it's hard to forgive. Our humaness is so full of self that we focus on what is being done to us or said about us. And we forget that God has a plan for us, a good plan. And if we trust in that, no kind of darkness that we fall into or are shoved into is bigger than His plan.


Yep, I wrote that! Several weeks ago I sat at my computer and typed those words. And yet, here I sit....holding a grudge. And I have to laugh; I have to smile, because it is simply a reminder of my humaness, my imperfect self. And it is a reminder that those words, typed so carefully with such feeling are only that...words. And words are wonderful; and words are powerful; but only if we let them be wonderful and powerful, only if we let them change our actions.

And I imagine God, smiling at me with that Fatherly grin...knowing I would revisit the lesson as I wrote it...knowing my humaness would show it's ugly self. I am human, afterall. So, Ill carry on and pray that he helps me to let go of those grudges that harden our hearts. And I'll continue to be ever thankful to serve a God who knows my flaws but loves me anyway.

:)natalie

Then the Lord said, "There is a place near me where you may stand on a rock. When my glory passes by, I will put you in a cleft in the rock and cover you with my hand until I have passed by. Then I will remove my hand and you will see my back; but my face must not be seen," Exodus 33:21-23


Have you been in this place--this place where the Glory of God passes you and you look to see only His back? When I read this today, I contemplated about what an amazing place this would be, how I wanted so much to visit this place. And yet, something tells me I've been there...

I've seen the passing of God's Glory when...

--each of my children took their first breath of life

--the money to feed my family was just...there.

--my little boy transformed from deathly sick to alive and well.

--a wise old man whipsered truths to my heart that only He could know to speak.

--a scripture spoke to the ailing of my heart.

--the sun greeted a new day and washed away the darkness.

I've been in that cleft of a rock, where God's hand has covered me while He passed by. Sometimes, and only somtimes, I realize...I live in that place, but only forget to notice His passing.


natalie :)

I've Been Here Before

The Lord Almighty has sworn, Surely as I have planned, so it will be, and as I have purposed, so it will stand. Isaiah 14:24

I've been here before--wondering how this could be Your plan? Questioning how this mess, orchestrated by man and carried-out with questionable motives, be Your purpose? How can THIS stand?

Maybe it isn't of You. Perhaps You have walked away, left things to us--US, who operate in greed and selfishness. Have You washed Your hands of it all and turned Your back? I see so very little of You in this; I search for You; I look for Your plan; I cannot find You.

And then I remember, I've been here before. And I've seen your Goodness rise above the filth. I've seen You come out of the anger, the ache. I've felt You heal my shattered heart with WORDS. And I know that You are there. I've been here before and I know that You never left my side.

These moments we are living don't always seem a part of Your plan; they don't seem worthy of standing. But I've been here before, and I cannot deny that every moment is filled with Your Love and Your Grace and Your Mercy. That has to be enough right now--enough to ease the anger and heal the ache.

He has a plan...even in the darkness.

But Joseph said to them, " Don't be afraid. Am I in the place of God? God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. So then, don't be afraid. I will provide for you and your children." And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them. Genensis 50: 19-21




Everytime I read the story of Joseph's encounter with his brothers after so many years...I am in amazement of his Forgiveness--his genuine forgiveness. How did he do it? I think of how they sat together so long ago and plotted to get rid of their own brother. I imagine the looks on their faces as they stripped him of his robe and shoved him in to the cistern (Genesis 50: 23-24). I wonder what the fall must have been like for Jospeh--was he injured? And the darkness that surrounded him when he reached the bottom--was it overwhelming?

Once the brothers shove Joseph into a world of darkness, they have lunch and discuss alternatives to killing him. What evil must have lurked in their eyes when they made the decision to sell their brother into slavery? I cannot imagine how hardened one's heart must become to take such actions.

And yet, Joseph, when he finally has the chance to take revenge on his brothers--reassures them, speaks kindly to them, takes care of them. Why? Joseph got it! He understood that God's plan for his life might be full of people who meant him harm, but God "intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done." (Genesis 50: 20).

When we trust in God--believe in His plan for us--there is no room for grudges. Because grudges hold us back, smother our joy; distort our relationship with God. Grudges harden our hearts; they slowly chip away at the softeness that allows us to care, love, give, feel.

And I say this, not from judgement, but experience. Because it's hard to forgive. Our humaness is so full of self that we focus on what is being done to us or said about us. And we forget that God has a plan for us, a good plan. And if we trust in that, no kind of darkness that we fall into or are shoved into is bigger than His plan.

Thank you God for Your plan!

Peace in The Storm

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

It's been said that a picture can say a thousand words; but I say, a picture can evoke a thousand emotions and thoughts...

pure joy, fear, love beyond imagination, doubt, uncertainty...why?, happiness, so blessed,

what will the future hold?...how?...THANKFULNESS....

When I look at this picture, I remember. I remember how unsure we were about His plan--six month old twins, three other children, a lost job. We were thankful in one moment and doubtful in the other.

But when you begin the journey out of difficult times, it's important to look back. And we looked back to see His plan was there all along--His good and perfect plan.

Yes, two little beings entered our lives during a storm. The storm was relentless at times; our boat rocked uncontrollably. Matthew and Lilly were the peace. They brought laughter and joy. They helped us bond together when everything else was trying to tear us apart. They gave us purpose when we were like trees--bending and swaying in the storm. Their timing was PERFECT and a part of His plan.

And we will forever be thankful to Him for Matthew and Lilly--the peace in our storm.

Destinations...

Read this...http://www.aholyexperience.com/2011/07/what-you-need-when-you-embark-on-motherhood/

And thought of this...(thank you Ann Voskamp for always inspiring me to live in the moments!)


Destinations...always trying to get somewhere--the next day, another age, a happier time, a higher tax bracket, a better view. And so many moments overlooked, not deserving enough to be called a destination. So many moments we would rather toss aside, forget, erase. But He is in every moment; He is all we need; so isn't every moment worthy to be a destination--to be treated as if we have waited for its arrvial? Isn't every moment----PERFECT?

AND...what if it were that way-- every moment embraced as the destination? What if we could live in the truth that EVERY moment is filled with Him--His mercy, His grace, His joy, His love, His PERFECTION? What if we could see every moment as perfect--in some strange and beautiful way, a way that is hard for these human eyes to see?

What if...

This seems to be the journey...and ONE day when we can see every moment as perfect, then we have most certainly arrived!

:)natalie

A Summer of Weddings...

It's been a summer of weddings, as I have attended three already and it's only mid June. So, it's no wonder why Marriage has been on my mind...

The wedding day---so perfect and detailed. Every moment considered. Months are invested in making the time memorable--how things will look, where people will stand, who will attend, on and on and on. But really, what it all comes down to in the end is two people, standing face to face, committing before God to become one flesh. One flesh--so that every hurt he has hurts you, and every tear he drops seems to come from your own eye; and every success of his is considered your own and his failures are felt in the deepest part of your heart--One flesh.

It isn't easy. It seems easy at first. When life is smiling upon you and all the cards are standing, being One comes naturally--like breathing. But eventually, life frowns and our humaness takes over and sides form, lines are drawn, the flesh divides. The wounds from life in a lost world seem to remain unhealed. And if left that way, the marriage dies.

But this doesn't have to be. For on that wedding day, He stands with the two as a Healer and Protector. He stands with those who know Him and with those who don't. I know this. For, He stood with me even without me really fully understanding He was there. And nearly 2o years later--amidst life's smiles and frowns--HE continues to bind the flesh as One.

May those whose weddings I attended this summer--

Chris and Heather
Todd and Jessica
and....Kelly and Dan (my brother and new sister)

be bound by God as One Flesh through every smile and frown life gives you.


:)natalie