I drove home with Dylan yesterday in a thick silence. He is so quiet right now. When I look at his face I can tell that his mind isn't quiet, but those thoughts get lost, perhaps tucked away somewhere and don't seem to escape through his mouth very often. Oh, how that troubles me sometimes. I wonder if he longs to tell me something but can't find the courage. I wonder if he trusts me. I long for a time when he shared every thought, every pain, every joy, every idea, every desire with Mom. I know it's normal---this silent teenage phase. But it's hard. It hurts to feel as if you've lost a connection with someone who holds a piece of your heart.
My comfort? A God who knows him better than I--who loves him deeper than I (and that's deep). And I realize, even as I write this, that there IS a connection between me and my teenage son right now--our Lord. Those thoughts that never seem to escape Dylan's beautiful mind are known by God--each and every one held by the God we both Love and Worship. And I am thankful that I don't have to go through this teenage phase alone; I am thankful that He is holding me--us-- through this.
5 comments:
beautiful@
So true, Natalie. Those teen years seem to be the hardest. When you wonder what they are thinking and doing that you do not know about. All you can do is trust that God will guide them when you are not included. Even now, I pray that God will watch over my girls thoughts and actions at 25 and 21.
I think I need another cup of coffee. My grammer and punction is pitiful. Sorry:)
Going to get that coffee right now ;)
Thanks y'all! So true Donna..such a hard and lonely age (at times) for both child and parents.
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